- Feb 23, 2020
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Going through a divorce really is one of the most stressful things a family can go through. It’s a tumultuous time for the parents as well as the kids. So it’s very important to be prepared for it either its arranging for a lawyer or handling the emotional well-being of your kids, and one should really take the first step to have a conversation about it. One of the best places to start is actually with some myth-busting. Whether it’s here in Woodstock, GA, or any other place in the world, divorces are stressful and they really can take a toll on your mental health as well as your child’s health, but it doesn’t have to be that way if you hire the best divorce lawyers.
How to make the Divorce less stressful?
There are a lot of things you can do to make your divorce much less stressful. The biggest one is to actually decrease the kind of conflict between you and your separating spouse. So anytime you’re going to have a conversation with your kids, it’s important that you two have had a conversation ahead of time. Divorce is a really conflicted thing but if you’re looking forward to making a commitment to your kid’s mental and emotional health across the board, the best one is to lower the conflict. Sometimes you actually need a mediator. There are wonderful organizations therapists who can really make the process of going through a divorce easier.
How to make it easier for your kids?
The first thing is that if there are going to be two houses, make them as similar in terms of rules, consequence, and expectations. Sitting down for a family meeting about how to do is really important. The other thing may come as a surprise to you, is actually the process that how each other’s stuff is going to go back and forth between the places.
There are a lot of smaller, comforting things for kids that really need to be transported. Blankets and stuffed animals carry a lot of emotional weightage for smaller kids and they are very attached to them and even for older kids there are some aspects of technology and things that we don’t duplicate but need to be a part of the transition. It also helps for them to see you both having a conversation. So if there are big family decisions to be made, be sure to talk to your kids about it ahead of time. It is certain that while going through a divorce, your emotional state will sure be fragile and it’s a very crucial moment as you have to manage the emotions of your children as well. It’s important to tell your kids upfront and avoid putting any filters while talking to them. Be in a position that whatever you’re relaying over to your kids, its gives a positive message to your kids.
Now there are always some reasons for the divorce on both sides and it’s important you are honest but age appropriate. So saying something like we grew apart or we fell out love, no longer able to parent together can be a much more neutral way of discussing it. Then save more conflicted versions like betrayal and other things to be discusses by your close friends and family. It’s important that they get a chance to know your side of the story.
Kids grow up and discover lots of different complex things with time and as they do it is important that they feel that they can talk to you. If you’re always on the one side of the argument and saying negative things most of the time, it’s very likely that you’ll shut your kids down for the complex discussions they want to have with you.
Some things needed to be discussed are:
- How the kids are going to deal with the new family (if so)
- How they are doing with the transitions
Developing Bond with Your Kids
Another common pattern that the kids can take is to take care of each other as siblings. If the kids have siblings going back and forth between the houses it matter that you still get solo time with each of your kids so that they have a chance to process it. Sometimes therapy can be a huge support even in non-conflicted divorces. One thing is to talk about its very important for you to reassure your kids about the love you have for them. It really nurtures the mind of the kids.
When parents get divorced a child in addition to parent’s world being torn apart, a child experiences tremendous upheaval potentially.
Many parents are worried about the effects their divorce will have on the kid. One of the most important thing to know is that there’s nothing universal about the divorce, it’s really specific to the kid. The level of conflict in the divorce and the other set of circumstances, its crucial to focus on the things that you can do to control those risks and the biggest one is to decrease the conflict associated with the divorce and to make sure they get a chance to talk about their feelings
Warning Signs to Look For In Kids
Important warning signs to look for in your kid when you’re going through a divorce is mostly paying attention to the changes in their behavior. If their routine is changing, whether its them not eating enough, or not sleeping properly, staying awake late at night or changes in how much time they spend in socializing either with the family or with friends. Those are important warning signs. Best thing is to take it slowly and start by having a talk with them about how they are feeling.
It’s no doubt that breakup is hard, but the kids that come out the best and with the least amount of emotional scars are the kids whose parents are getting along the best outside of the marriage. High levels of conflict during the divorce and after the divorce signals the kids that are we going to do the worst? In other words even though you’re not staying together, the better you get along the better the kids are going to handle the pain. The divorce may be inevitable but your ability to work through the issues of your kids are paramount because you want your children to do well.
At this point you should meet with a divorce lawyer; there might be a wide variety of lawyers you can hire in Woodstock, GA. It is important to discuss your situation and get answers from someone who can tell you the truth.